Updated September 2026. Originally published March 2017.
The short version: I paid $2,000 for Unleash the Power Within, flew to California, and walked out partway through. Tony is a great presenter, and for my friends the event was moving. For me it felt superficial: hours of dancing and fist-pumping, constant name-dropping, and an upsell into supplements and more seminars in the middle of the event. I asked for a refund. What I did after I left, and what I would change about the event, is below.
2026 update: People still ask me about this post more than almost any other. My answer has not changed: the courage to start does not come from an arena, it comes from a small uncomfortable ask you make today. That is the whole idea behind the Dollar Challenge and the Coffee Challenge in Million Dollar Weekend.
After paying $2,000 for a ticket to Unleash the Power Within…
After the 3-hour flight out to California…
After fully committing, with a completely open heart…
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I walked out of Tony Robbins’ seminar.
In this post, I will share why I went to Tony’s event, what it was like, and why I walked out. I will also show you what I did after I left, and what I learned from the whole experience.
If you’re skeptical of friends who say, “You have to go see Tony Robbins…”
If you’re on the fence about Unleash the Power Within ($2,000) or Date with Destiny ($5,000)…
This article is for you.
If you’d prefer to watch a video about it:
“But doesn’t everyone LOVE Tony Robbins’ events? Are you just a hater?”
I know the diehard fans — the self-proclaimed Cult of Robbins who “drink the Kool-Aid” — are already having doubts about this article.
“This guy wasn’t truly committed. He didn’t do the work, because he was afraid. Now he just wants to act like he’s more enlightened than everyone else.”
None of that is true.
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Here’s what you should know about me…
I have a ton of respect for Tony Robbins. I’ve read (or listened to) several of his books. I’m amazed by what he does (I recently shared how he gets 1 million visitors per month), and wanted to experience his coaching in person. A lot of my friends are big TR fans, and they all gave strong endorsements for UPW.
I’m not “better than you” for walking out. I’m not writing this because I’m a sophisticated aristocrat who turns his nose up at self-help groups. At many points in my life, I’ve been a total mess. I’ve written about depression and addiction. I wrote about the most embarrassing and painful period of my life (then I published a book about it).
I put in the work. I’ve had a ton of failures, and a few huge successes, because I’m constantly trying new things. Like how I built an 8-figure business. Or how I intentionally gained 40 pounds in 2015, then got into the best shape of my life in 2016. It wasn’t easy to eat so much food, or to go to the gym every week, but I put in the effort to reach my goals. (You can read more about my goals in 2020).
I’ve read hundreds of books and taken action, because I am 100% in on improving myself. (Here are 18 books that changed my life). I’ve also publicly documented my self-improvement journey for the last 15 YEARS. If that’s not “doing the homework,” I don’t know what is.
I’ve attended a lot of paid seminars before, and loved them. A few events that changed my life were Gayle Hendricks’ Big Leap event and David Deida’s workshop. Both were three days long, 5–8 hours per day. I didn’t even consider walking out of either. I’ve even hosted my own seminars! Last September, my company AppSumo hosted our second annual conference, with over 200 attendees. I’m astonished Tony hosts events for 10,000 people at a time.
SumoCon 2016
This article isn’t “fear-driven.” I committed to the event for seven hours. The only thing I was afraid of was wasting more time. Besides, I believe in helping people overcome their biggest fears — like talking to strangers, or starting a company. I now have had time to reflect on this experience.
Finally, Tony Robbins is one of my customers. In addition to Appsumo, I run a sister company called Sumo. Tony’s team uses our products. Do you really think I’m dumb enough to bash one of my highest profile customers? Hell no. This article is written with love.
In other words…
I’m not hating on Tony Robbins, or people who love his events.
I’m just defending a viewpoint few people ever bring up in public: the negative experience.
Most people are hesitant to talk about experiences that make us sound foolish. We diminish our losses, we downplay the bad stuff — especially if it goes against the crowd.
Think of Vegas.
Hardly anyone says, “I lost $2,000. It was a waste of time and money.”
We always say, “It was fun! Almost broke-even. Hashtag WORTH IT.”
For me, UPW wasn’t worth it.
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My Experience at “Unleash The Power Within”
In the days that lead up to the event, I felt nervous. The discomfort was reassuring.
I’m going in the right direction.
The two areas of my life I most wanted to tackle during the event were:
- How to better position myself to be in great relationships.
- How to create a work environment that continually motivates and excites me.
Before the seminar began, I had a chance to talk with my neighbors. One was a recovering Jehovah’s witness. The other was transitioning jobs in Los Angeles. We had a nice discussion about why we were there, what our struggles were, and what we hoped to get out of the seminar.
Then, Tony came out on stage.
Tony’s presentation skills were incredible. The guy has been doing this for 30 years, so I expected him to be good. He was great.
Some of the things Tony did really well:
- He encouraged us to meet our neighbors and keep each other excited.
- He kept participation super high. He continually asked everyone to raise their hand and say “I” if they agreed. He also let the audience finish a lot of his sentences (“The truth will set you ____”).
- He challenged us: “I’ll deliver but you have to promise to commit. If you sit down during the dancing, then you aren’t committed, and you aren’t going to get what you came for. Play full out with me.”
- He repeated things over and over to drive points home and increase retention. He also backed up his claims with statistics.
- He told great stories and incorporated a lot of humor.
Of course, there were some things he did NOT do so well…
- At times, he was all over the place. “Let’s work on what you’re afraid of… Now let’s talk about how to get anything you want… Focus, mean it, do it!“
- There was conflict of interest. There’s a day where we talk about health and nutrition… and then he sells supplements. Tony also mentions his other events, and encourages you to sign up for more seminars during the middle of UPW.
- He name-dropped and bragged constantly. Credibility markers are essential for a presenter to be taken seriously — especially with an audience of 10,000 people. And we all know Tony has done some amazing things. But the number of times he mentioned his relationships with presidents, celebrities, and business people was overkill. We get it — you have a private jet.
- Finally, Tony has the weirdest clap I’ve ever seen.
In the first few hours of the seminar, we danced (a lot), massaged our neighbors, fanned our neighbors, did aerobic exercises, pumped our fists, watched Tony run through the audience like some idol, and other ra-ra tactics.
Still, these were minor annoyances. Those come with any event. None were deal-breakers.
But as the day unfolded, I began to question whether this seminar was a good use of my time.
Tony called on people in the front row and recited their names. Which made it seem like he knew everyone in the audience, though I’m sure they were his VIP ($75K per year) customers.
He called on John.
“What’s your issue, John?”
John wasn’t loved.
Here was Tony’s response:
- Everyone in the crowd faces that issue.
- John should come up with a new name. “Edward.”
- “Edward” walk towards Tony like a bad-ass.
- Tell Tony you are unleashed (basically).
- Everyone in the audience say “I love you, John.”
Problem solved.
Of course, no one expected Tony to solve John’s emotional issues with some light role-play and applause. The whole sequence was superficial (and entertaining).
Still, John clearly has deeper issues around his family. He wasn’t loved enough.
What then?
I wanted John and Tony to go deep.
I wanted to go deep.
I wanted to do the hard work we needed to do.
Then we had to massage our neighbors. Again.
Okay, I understand we need to break through social discomfort and energize ourselves, but I don’t enjoy random dudes touching me.
Hour 7…
I looked at the agenda for the next three days.
Nutrition. Interesting.
Then booklet work.
For two days.
I looked back over my notes.
Sure, there were some great takeaways, like…
Dedicate time every week to work on yourself. Reflect upon whether you are growing, and making progress.
What are you scared of right now? How can you move towards that? Discomfort is your growth!
Success without fulfillment is the ultimate failure.
Look at things from appreciation and gratitude. Instead of complaining about traffic, appreciate that we have cars to get us to places faster.
Modeling is valuable. Study and replicate the people that have already figured out what you want to do.
What’s a goal that excites you? What goal would genuinely energize you immediately?
What distractions are holding you back from your goals? Remove them.
These are his quotes I turned into instagram memes.
“No growth in comfort.”
“Success is how much uncertainty you can deal with.”
“Your worst day can be your best day”
“Complexity is the enemy of execution.”
“Have hunger that’s insatiable, always expanding.”
It finally hit me. Dread.
I was officially dreading the rest of the seminar.
To stay for three full days felt like a self-imposed prison, rather than an opportunity to genuinely grow.
I thought about what I most wanted to get out of my time, and whether this event was the best use of it. I decided it would be better for me to work on my specific issues, one-on-one with a friend.
So, I walked out.
Did I feel embarrassed? Yes.
Did I feel disappointed? Yes.
But what I really felt, more than anything else…
Empowered.
Empowered to make choices about what I want, and empowered to turn down the things I don’t.
What I Did After I Left
Rather than fly home, I planned a “Personal Development Day.” Here’s what I did the following day:
- Drank coffee
- Went on a 3-hour hike to discuss personal and professional growth with a friend
- 90-minute personal development discussion (recorded on video)
- Ate a healthy lunch
- Reviewed some of Tony’s other materials
- Read a book
- 60-minute discussion with my mastermind group, where I shared some of my biggest issues
- Got a massage
- Sushi dinner
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This may have been the best part about Tony’s personal development seminar — it forced me to create my own.
Final Thoughts
Tony has great intentions, a strong presence, and it’s clear most of his attendees feel the event is worth the investment. I am in the minority, who asked for a refund.
A quick Google search shows his net worth in the several hundreds of millions. So luckily my refund request didn’t break the bank.
For many of his attendees, it seems there are deep-seated issues with a lack of love, and the belief that they are not enough.
If you struggle with those issues, then Tony’s seminars might change your life.
For a few days, you will feel loved.
For a few days, you will feel like you are enough.
That’s intoxicating, and many attendees (understandably) go back for more.
For my friends, the seminar was overwhelmingly positive and deeply moving. For me, it felt superficial and cheesy.
I don’t plan on attending another Tony Robbins’ event. But I would, if his team made a few big changes:
- More time to talk with the people around us. The most valuable time, for me, was when we shared our lives with each other. We all attended for personal development, and we all faced similar challenges. Bonding over common ground was great, and I wish there was more time dedicated to it.
- Shorten the seminar to just ONE day. Less dancing, less hoopla, less fluff… Just get to the meat. We wouldn’t need to be “awakened” every 20 minutes if the event didn’t take so long. (Then again, maybe it’s dragged out to create the sense that we got our money’s worth.)
- Focus. The seminar felt too general. I know it’s impossible to custom-tailor an event for 10,000 people, but more specific topics would have helped.
My good friend Tynan said it best:
“If you never quit, you probably aren’t trying enough new things.”
I don’t regret attending Tony’s seminar.
Nor do I regret walking out.
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39 responses to “Why I Walked Out on Tony Robbins (Honest Review)”
I had the opportunity to be behind the scenes with the Robbins crew in the 1990s in Hawaii and Phoenix and Dallas “Life Mastery” and “Financial Mastery”. He is really good at packaging other people’s ideas and bringing in expert guest speakers…but for instance after the firewalk you didn’t see the kiddie pools in the hotel basement set up for participants who burned their feet…but I did. He ordered steak while he had his participants eat vegetarian… and they were exhausted zombies by the end of the week who had mortgaged their homes to be there for 10K. I am not a fan, but I know a lot of people are if you need a ‘rah rah’ guy in your life. Looks like he’s progressed from the ‘thunder clap’ that he used to use. 🙂 I think it is fabuloso that you used the time you carved out for the workshop to really workshop ideas on your own. Excellent pivot! 🙂
I think there is latitude to question if Tony Robbins has helped “millions of people”.
Consider this: if I write a book of trite, metaphysical nonsense like “The Secret”, sell
30,000,000 copies, and 99.9% of those who purchased the book found it unhelpful, and 1/10th of 1% who read it claimed it changed their lives, I could still publish a three-volume collection of testimonials, each having 300 pages with 25 testimonials on each page.
Just reflect on that: 99.99% of those who attend a Tony Robbins event, buy a book, or in any way take the bait, could find it wasted money and he could easily have a book the size of “War and Peace” filled with raves.
Only attended one weekend in London around 20 years ago. I loved it. The presentations were great and I’ve often reflected on what was said and found it helpful. The undercurrents were interesting too.
As we gathered, there were people arriving who started to dance to the music in their seats around the room – surrounded by the rest of us who were being pretty quiet – just felt like there was something else going on.
Then there was the build up to the fire-walking and how dangerous it was. But given the number of people there it was pretty obvious that he couldn’t afford the insurance necessary if it really was hazardous – just made me feel this was all bluff – as it turned out to be. Fun but just a party trick.
And then at the end of the weekend we had to confront our inner selves as to what we really wanted to do. I found this a bit embarrassing as everyone was emoting – and I was feeling pretty relaxed. Though I did asked myself what I wanted in the end – I really looked into myself and asked – what do you want? The loud and clear answer on that Sunday morning was: go home and have lunch with your lovely wife. So I left and missed the end but had a great afternoon.
Honestly – when you take all the hokum out you are left with a fun weekend with some good advice – so thanks Tony. Me? Still married and very happy – the seminar was fine.
The very first seminar I attended I almost walked out on the first day. ( it was a 3 day seminar) It was summer, I was planning in my mind the lake, the lake, the lake and wanted to get out. I asked my wife if she wanted to leave and go to the lake, thankfully she said no. It was the beginning of my mind and spiritual development that I consistently do now. I’ve always worked on my body, but only had little spurts of mind and spiritual development through my life. We’re all in different personal development stages in our lives. From reading what you did when you left, it’s apparent you’re doing great. Not like me a few years ago- the lake. I appreciate your truth, but some people need a seminar to get pumped and going in the right direction. The bottom line is Tony’s intentions are with love and helping people better their lives. I know that Tony’s heart is in the right place. His clap being weird? Come on man….I probably clap weird. The key is to go with an open mind, open heart, the intention to learn and experiment with what you learned. Keep what works for you and dump what doesn’t.
I walked out on Tony Robbins too, BUT… here’s the rest of the story:
* I went to UPW in 2012 in San Jose – it was an amazing experience and I was on a high for 3 weeks. It changed my life.
* I went back to UPW in 2015 in LA – I was looking for a recharge experience, but was completely turned off. Mostly by how vulgar he was throughout. His statement about it was “shock value”. I got my money back and left after 1 day. So did my friend (2nd visit for him too).
* I saw the Virtual UPW a few weeks ago and wondered what that would be like. I signed up and have been doing it for the last couple days with my wife and kids. WOW, what an amazing experience!!! The vulgarity is practically gone. The experience is amazing. And I LOVE doing it from home. No need to take a flight, hotel, travel time. I’m definitely going to do this again the next time it’s offered this year. Fantastic experience!!!
Noah, I read your article yesterday (June 23rd) after I attended my first ever Tony Robbins event the ‘Comeback Challenge’. I immediately thought ‘this guy nailed it’. It’s a ra ra session, there’s a lot of name dropping, and yes TR has a weird hand clap. Then I attended day two today. I realized that I’m extremely judgmental and critical of myself and of others and I hate being out of my comfort zone. Yesterday, I would have made the same decision you made after day two. Walk out. After you walked out on the 2nd day, what you ended up doing on the 3rd day is that you stayed in your comfort zone. I now understand what I’ve been doing for the past few years, I like staying in my comfort zone. When I don’t like something – I just walk away from it. This time, I’m going to stay the course. I’m doing to complete the 7-day ‘Comeback Challenge’, get out of my comfort zone, and hopefully I’ll be less critical and judgmental of myself and others. I also realized that TR has a right to name drop, his weird clapping makes me laugh, his loud voice keeps me focused, and if people want to pay $$$$ to be part of the experience he offers – then so be it, because I paid to be part of it. And if there’s one lesson I’ve learnt in life is that – the lesson I learn from any experience depends entirely on me.
Cheers.
My sister from out of state signed me up for the LA event next week. I told her it wasn’t my thing, but I wouldn’t mind sharing time with her. I had no idea how immersive the event is. And how cultishly hyperactive it is.
I’ve been dreading the experience for the last several weeks. I want to share time with my sister, but the though of spending a 50 hour marathon with screaming wannabes sounds like Hell Incarnate.
(Besides, I have a business to run and I can’t really afford the four days off. Showing up for the event is ironically hindering my ability to be successful.)
I think I need to suck it in and endure a few days to share the event with my sister. I’ll cut my participation down to two days and actually get some work done on the other two. I’ll let my sister know I’m not going to be all gung ho but be supportive of her and her experience. And just chalk it up as another life experience, however unsolicited.
Do not let this bait and switch article convince you that your experience will be bad. You will get out of this and any event equal to what you put into it both emotionally an physically. Play full out and your experience will pay out in dividends…
Hey Roger
Not sure what’s bait and switch. I think Tony is great for some people.
Just sharing my overall experience with it 🙂
I have read Tony Robbin’s books, done Tony Robbins coaching and attended Unleash the Power Within. That seminar I got a lot out of regarding my personal life.
I did buy a Diamond Level ticket to Business Mastery for $11,000 – which I walked out of at the end of Day 1. Most of the people I met were desperate and failing small business owners looking for answers. Tony’s suggested ways to grow businesses bigger, strategies aimed at corporate structuring, and general big-business advice seemed tone deaf.
In one instance, he was discussing guarantees – What are you willing to do if your business does not deliver on the service promise to the client? He pulled a woman from the crowd- she said her business was coaching single mothers on how to be more effective with their time. She was scattered, rambling and it didn’t seem like she actually had a business – more like an idea for a business. He coached her to finding a guarantee: that she would send her client and their kids on an all expense paid trip to Disney if she didn’t deliver. Tony didn’t address the asinine premise of telling single mothers that they’re doing it wrong, and that financial priorities might not align for her target demographic to find value in her services.
I waited till the end of the day, went through every exercise and still didn’t see the value. I walked out and asked for a refund. There was an attempt on the part of the organizers to persuade me to stay – that maybe all I needed was more coaching. That may be true but certainly not from them. I did get a refund and spent the next 5 days exploring the phenomenal art scene in Las Vegas.
One thing I see recurring in the comments is an aversion to “fluff”, how the content of an entire 3 day seminar could be condensed down into a short book that you could buy on Amazon and read in half a day. Maybe true, but would you read it and then actually apply it? Some would, most would not, at least not to the absolute best of their ability. Which is why Tony provides what he calls immersion, where you’re in the environment for an extended period of time, you’ll get tired, your focus will wander, but if you suck it up and do what’s necessary to work the processes anyway, along with a whole room full of people who are doing the same thing, you will benefit more and might just create lasting change. By removing yourself from your day to day life for a period of time to focus on yourself and your own development, you’re investing in yourself and your future, and it takes that level of commitment to create that lasting change. It’s a concept Tony believes in, and so do I since it worked for me.
Now I’ve met Tony several times and I can confirm that he does exhibit narcissistic traits, how couldn’t he, his name is in huge letters on all of the materials and around the venues, and the salesy stuff in the middle of the seminar can be off-putting. And Tony is extremely good at what we does, a master of human psychology, and highly charismatic and courageous. I took the stance of take what you need and leave the rest, and I took a great deal, far more valuable than what I paid, not that that mattered to me. Not everyone will have that experience, and he does give you your money back if you want.
I’m an Aussie, so the ‘ra ra’ factor is difficult for me to swallow x 10,000 to what someone from Tony’s part of the world may even struggle with. I haven’t actually been to one his events for many years, but assuming they’re still the same, I might make the following observations. Firstly, I’m always uncomfortable at the start and feel like walking out. Dealing with that discomfort rather than walking out and feeling empowered, is part of my process. It’s how I learned stuff I wouldn’t have otherwise. Some of which was valuable, some less so. I guess you’ll never know what you missed out. I hope it was a really good coffee and healthy lunch you had instead.
Giving a summary on what people may or may not lie about the seminar you didn’t actually stay at is probably quite a big call, on’t you think? I could probably review the last Foo Fighters concert I didn’t go to, but that wouldn’t make much sense because, ah, I wasn’t there. So by all means explain why you left, and what you thought of it BEFORE you left, you know, while you were actually still there, but quite how you get to say what Tony’s seminars might do for people and what they should do differently based on the bit of one you saw just seems illogical to me. I really don’t understand it all. And no, i’m not someone who puts him on a pedestal – i don’t love everything he does, especially all that bloody hugging and singing and dancing. But at least I stayed til the end. Several times. So I can probably comment more accurately than someone who didn’t. Anyway… just sharing my thought. Shall we hug now? 😉
I am a PhD in Psychology with over 35 years experience and a tenured full professor in Psychology. Everything that Tony Robbins does is based on good psychological theory…even the celebration and upbeat chanting. If someone does not like that, then they should not attend his seminar. I just did my first one this past weekend in San Jose and came away more convinced than ever that his approach is brilliant.
I have not been to a seminar in the past 20 years where other seminars or products weren’t promoted, even the so-called non-profit professional organizations. Yes, there is marketing done at the seminar, but the amount he does is small compared to any other I have attended.
Sorry people are so skeptical. I found the weekend amazing and walked away with tons of skills that I can use with my clients.
I’m a doctor of psychology, and I could not disagree with you more. People are not healed by self-help cliches and watching narcissistic “gurus” flap around on a stage. He masterfully manipulates emotions, puts on a good show, and gives people enough good advice (which you can find all over the place in books, on google, in talking to good friends), combine with an highly emotive and emotionally arousing experience that they feel hopeful. It’s not that everything that Tony or any of these other self help/life coach/preacher types do is always bad or unhelpful. Some people are on a growth journey, and will continue on that trajectory, however his message and the way he interacts with people can be seriously damaging to people with enough risk factors, and mental health struggles. Particularly those who lack a good support system. And he is making bank off of it, it’s disgusting.
I was just at his San Jose UPW event. Walked out from the event but during the 3rd day as I wanted to see/hear all that he had to say. I think he is brilliant and obviously a very helpful personal coach (validated by numerous successful people who vouched for him). However, in addition to the points that you made, which I agree fully, I have 2 additional observations:
1) he gives the audience a burst of confidence that may very well last throughout the seminar. The incantation used to quash an individual’s limiting beliefs , when said during peak state along with 12 thousand other participants in the arena can be very powerful and gave a sense of euphoria. Its like a pep rally on steroids. However, I wonder how long those new beliefs last once people fly back to their homes
2) With each day, a higher percentage of the time is spent promoting other seminars. I got the sense that UPW is a feeder seminar ($1k to $2k depending on your seats) for other more expensive ones. During the 2nd and 3rd days, they blatantly allocated blocks of time during the program dedicated to selling the benefits of the seminars that costed $5k to $10k. They even used pressure selling tactics that asked people to make the decision on the spot for 59% off – with a kicker that research shows successful people make decisions quickly, so you should too if you are successful. On top of it, they had financing programs for $300 down. That really rubbed me the wrong way. If someone is not able to afford these seminars, should Robbins company apply pressure on them to go into debt if they truly cared about their well being. Reminded me a bit of predatory lending.
I fully respect your opinion and enjoyed reading it. I’m not trying to defend the event, as I’ve never gone, and I understand why you left.
But at the same time, your personal development day seemed like a dud.
The seminar inspired you to what?
discuss personal development with a friend for 3 hours,
Record yourself discussing personal development for an hour and a half,
Read about personal development,
and then discuss personal issues for another hour.
Sounds like lots of talking and not a lot of action.
It’s very easy to have conversations and make plans. I’m not saying it’s bad, just that it’s easy.
It’s action that brings change.
For many people, is not most people—those things he mentioned doing are taking action.
No everyone has to take action in the same ways or at the same time.
Hold on, you walked out and then paid for a massage? You could have had multiple free massages each day at the seminar 😀
I’m not being funny but you have a mastermind group someone who can go hiking with you on a whim and discuss personal development and even after spending all that money for a conference you were able to get a massage and chill the f out! On top of this you walked out on a conference most people can’t fully afford so you’re pretty much covered. You also have willpower and some of his books! It could be said his conference worked so well for you that you were sorted in just one day! This is an extremely annoying post! For someone like myself his conference could be life changing especially seeing as we don’t have your already motivating environment
I went to Date With Destiny (yeah, I spent 5 grand) and I felt like in 5 days I got maybe 3 hours of actual information. Every day started about 2 hours after the time on the schedule, had ridiculous amounts of “dance time”, and even though in general I like hugs – for God’s sake come on already .
I was also a little disenchanted with all the hate spewed on traditional education. The eyerolls and disdain at the mere mention of “doctors” of psychology hurt a little since I worked so hard to get my doctorate degree. He said over and over how many suicides he has prevented and then I saw his suicide preventions in person. Yeah, these people in the seminar were not so much suicidal as borderline personality and were eating up the attention when they had it and I guarantee then falling off the deep-end when the attention was on someone else. As a person who works with suicidal patients on a regular basis, not only are his claims to suicide prevention absurd, I believe they may even be dangerous.
I have loved his work from the past, but now even the occasional sight of him popping up randomly on social media triggers my gag reflex.
I attended Tony’s seminar in 1989 – I was in my early 20s and I, too, walked out. I did do the 40 foot hot coal walk (“cool moss, cool moss” ;)) and you can say that was the highlight.
I felt like I missed something or should have had more emotional or psychological problems – maybe hate my parents or say I enjoyed torturing small animals. Everyone around me was either crying or screaming about their pains out loud or hugging a stranger – no exaggeration here. It didn’t connect with me then and I can only imagine the frenzy now, whew!
Where Tony totally lost me was in the ‘upsell’ gear. This wasn’t enough apparently; we had to go the ‘next level’, which was just his next seminar, to truly untap all our potential. By then, my fingers were blue because it was about subzero in the convention hall and I felt like I was being held captive. So … I ‘unleashed my own power’ and got the hell out of there. I never looked back with regret – a few chuckles yes, but no regret.
Glad to know I wasn’t the only one. 😉 Good read – thank you!
Congratulations in making the choice which was right for you, and for sharing the rationale behind making that choice.
Stepping into your power – and owning your choice whatever that may looks like is critical to living a happy and successful life.
My own experience of UPW was life changing but the moment was created by an unknown guy in the firewall.
I’m a wheelchair user. At that time I could hardly manage a few steps. I completed the firewall and was thrilled. I looked behind me at the next participant. He was a double amputee who completed the firewalk on his hands.
In that moment I decided I would never let my disability limit my horizons. In booked to go to the USA by myself to attend Date With Destiny the next day. A huge leap of faith.
Since then my horizons have become unlimited. Living proof that if you believe you can’t is a done deal. If you believe you can anything is possible!!
Gina
Gina
I have attended 2 UPW’s & 1 DWD. My wife attended 1 UPW and hated it and left. At my 2nd UPW event we had to chat with a stranger and tell them what we would change about ourselves. My stranger said he wanted to give up drugs, get married and start a business. I had to tell him whether I believed him or not. I told him he was unconvincing and I doubted his ability to follow through.
Five years later I’m at the Gold Coast in Queensland, Australia, 1000 kilometers from the last event in Sydney. A guy walks up to me and says “Do you remember me?” I had to apologise and say “No.” He reminds me about having to convince me about giving up drugs, getting married and start a business. He wanted to thank me for telling him he was unconvincing and I did not believe him.
He told me he had not taken drugs since that meet, had married, had two adorable children and now owned two different businesses. He said he owed it all to TR & me, and he vigously thanked me for calling his bluff, as that was the moment his life turned around.
What a huge buzz that was. It is pretty special to have that type of positive impact on a persons life and of course to receive personal thanks from them. I loved all the TR seminars and I still listen to his tapes. In saying that I can also see that it would not be everyone’s cup of tea.
I went to a few of his seminars more than ten years ago. I was in a fragile state at the time in search of something to make me feel better about myself. In retrospect, I can see what happened, but at the time I was too caught up in the salesmanship and energy and I was not in a good place in my life and very depressed. He is the master of the upsell. I couldn’t afford the first conference, yet I signed up for the next one at a price I definitely couldn’t afford and then the next one. The energy and camaraderie are intoxicating, yet proved detrimental to me in the end as it thrust me into a manic episode probably due to lack of sleep and the energy. I was not manic depressive, only depressed. It is not necessarily his fault, but for someone in my condition trying to get out of a severe depression, it ended up not being the best thing in my life.
The material is interesting and possibly useful, but I have soured on him ever since due to some bad memories.
I got a 3 day’er coming up in a couple weeks. I’m was thinking I might feel the same (but I’ll try to keep an open mind). I don’t really think I need it, I’m more there to support my fiancé , who’s signed up as well. If it doesn’t do anything for her, its ayahuasca time. Lol. That’ll peel back a few layers. 🙂 Thanks for your feedback Noah. You rock!
Groovy Jimmy. Report back how it goes. Always find interesting when different people have opposing opinions on the same movie or same restaurant.
Can’t remember where I read the following but every self-help book/course comes down to these themes:
1. You create your own life
2. You create the way you feel
3. Act “as if” you already had the quality you wanted
4. Find your purpose
5. Set goals
6. Live in the present
7. The power of attraction (hmm…)
8. Get out of your comfort zone.
9. Practise gratitude
10. Ask
11. Model others’ success
12. Ignore the haters.
And I would add the daddy of them all, “Take action”. You don’t need more information, you need to take more action and figure it out as you go along (just like everyone else). Avoid being a “permanent student”.
There, just saved you $2K 🙂
Looks like you got what you needed.
Holy moly I haven’t seen your name in forever. I don’t need anything. Just wanted to share my story. Bit surprised it was this “responsive.”
Noah, a little info on the length issue you mentioned. It isn’t random and it isn’t just to get more sales info in. TR does it for the same reasons cults and the military do. Longer term shared experiences bond us to a group. Whether that group is hostages, or addicts, or self-helpers. We, as human beings, are biologically wired to be ‘joiners’. It is a cliché that recovering alcoholics find religion. They trade one tribe for (hopefully) a less destructive one. Have you ever spent time at a conference where you are an outsider? It can be miserable to even find common ground to talk about something (ps. I’m an extrovert so it isn’t about meeting new people, at least not for me.) That was part of the reason he did his fire walking stuff. Group experience + Difficult task = Life time bonding. I’m sure TR has studied this stuff.
Dude, I walked out of UPW and sat in my car thinking it was the biggest waste of time and energy ever. Upsells, no real content, all over the place, lots of aphorism that people eat up. Finally went back but only for the last day, it was OK.
Later after listening to the advice of a mutual friend of ours, I went to his Date With Destiny. It was a completely different experience.
6 days of legit content that changed my perspective on huge parts of my life. It was truly worthwhile and helped me a ton of the relationship front. (I think I’ve told you this story personally.)
Always fun to read your take on this stuff.
Keep kicking ass homeh.
I agree, Nick. I attended all of the Mastery University courses after going to UPW. I did stick it out and felt energized, but still wanting. Date with Destiny was certainly more intense, personal and substantially more interactive with other attendees. UPW is kind of the “gateway” and while the “self-promotions” get a bit tiresome during UPW and self-referential comments may seem self-aggrandizing, he really has changed a lot of lives. Just like many other elements of life, one dose of anything will not be sufficient for sustenance. The goal is to keep improving oneself, whether it is with the assistance of Tony Robbins or any other mentor, a parent, a friend or family member. Thanks for opening up the conversation, Noah.
Really interesting! I just “discovered” Tony recently from watching “I am not your guru” and seeing him on the #AskGaryVee show. I’m not totally sold but I am interested in his message.
One point – I’m one of Jehovah’s Witnesses, and reading about someone as a “recovering” Jehovah’s witness is a bit mean. Would you call someone a recovering Catholic if they decided to leave Catholicism? Religion isn’t a disease like alcoholism or drugs.
Thanks for the note.
This is what he labeled himself. I found his story SO interesting about how he’s exploring his relationship to himself, his family and his religion.
All right, fair enough. I can’t say anything about what anyone chooses to call themselves.
I always enjoy your writing and appreciate the response.
I know many people who self-describe as a recovering Catholic. I imagine his neighbor self-described as well.
Love, A Recovering Jehovah’s Witness.
I enjoyed hearing your thoughts here. I was listening to his second appearance on Tim Ferris’ show, and like you pointed out the guy is super smart and charismatic and all that, but something was nagging at me and then it hit me: “horoscopes.”
He talks like horoscopes. (Often) fluries of non-falsifyable statements that just sound good, and often make you feel really good.
My suspicion as a TR outsider is that people who come to rely on these sorts of solutions don’t address why they feel they need them so much in the first place.
Ha! Same reaction to that episode. I turned it off when he said “I very very rarely have bad days.”
I think he honestly believes that and it’s not disingenuous or malevolent, but I think the outcome he is selling is neither achievable or desirable.
The point is not to “never have bad days.” It is something more zen-esque like “be present for the good and the bad.”
Or at least, that’s my shtick
It is easy to sell the endorphins of hope, but much harder to sell the scars of what it takes to achieve it. So most of the self-help industry sells the hope – it’s an easier buck to fleece. And that’s the problem with this industry.
Tragically with this industry, hope begets hope (god I sound like such a miserable m********ker) . Specifically, people love the endorphins of the day, leave on a high, then nothing really changes, so they return for another hit because hope is so much more fun than scars. And you can leave thinking that this time, this time more than the last time, it WILL be different.
But it won’t. And so it perpetuates.
And worst of all, I come across so many people who haven’t resolved their issues, but who are so sold on false hope, that they end up setting up as life coaches themselves, selling an even more vacuous version of the hope that they were sold.
It’s a genuinely screwed up industry.
And I speak as someone who attended a TR event about 15 years ago and left on a high. Oh, and despite what I said above, someone who also loves hope. But accepts that a scarred back is often its price.